February 2012
27 posts
2 tags
harry potter and the philosopher stone
1. ok why is harry potter a wizard if magic is impossible. if magic is impossible which it is, then how come GK Rowlings does not make him just very good at math or fencing. why magic, if magic is not possible.
2. hogwarts is not a real place. there are too many things that make it not real, it’s obvious she made it up. how can a castle be full of wizards? castles are for kings.
3. the hat...
2 tags
100 years of solitude.
1. i study english because i want to be a writer and one day i think i will be one. and it’s not my place to tell another writer what to do but mr marquez, why not call the book ‘solitude century’ because thats what 100 years means and my title is better.
2. the book begins with a man about to be shot and thinking about ice even though ice isn’t really a big deal. maybe if...
2 tags
beowulf
1. i will admit that i tried reading the book but it was like a poem and literally impossible to read because of bad spelling so i stopped and read the movie instead which is much better. you should watch the movie.
2. okay so why is grendel hating the party so much? he has nothing else to do. if he wants to be invited then don’t just kill everyone for no reason. ask them to be quiet if...
2 tags
lord of the rings
1. this is about a friend group of small people and tall friends, including friends. later they split up and are joined by a little man who is crazy because of the ring that a giant fire eye made. they need to go to a volcano and burn the ring (not sure why; don’t have fire anywhere else?)
2. the hobbits are historical but they did not live in little houses like it says in the book. also...
2 tags
maus
1. okay so my teacher says we had to read this for class, even though it isn’t a book but a comic like superman or batman. but this is a comic and has no powers, ok? let me say that again; this has no powers. otherwise its a very disssapointing book.
2. why are people diferent animals? the only answer is magic but there are no wizards, unless you count the main mouse as the wizard. he...
2 tags
hound of the baskervilles
1. okay, sorry everybody but i thought i bought a sherlock holmes book and yet we follow a man called watson around. THIS IS A SHERLOCK HOMES book okay? who cares who watson is or what he’s doing?
2. watson is very stupid and sherlock is very smart. which would you rather follow? me too. bad mistake doyle.
3. had a hard time anyone would really be scared of what basically is just a big...
2 tags
lolita
1. if nobakov did have sex with a young girl which is illegal, then why tell people in this book? did he not get arrested? this country has gone to hell, anyone can just walk free man now.
2. nobody has the same name as their last name, because of it being too confusing for the others.
3. why does mrs lolita want to marry humbert? he’s boring.
3. does it make any sense that a well...
2 tags
the fountainhead
1. another tract on why it is better to conform than to be a individuaal. ridiculous soviet propaganda. ann rand needs to get laid and then she’ll feel special instead of trying to convert everyone to socialism
2. the socialist theory has been DISPROVED, science is objective, and history shows that you can contradict socialism objectively — SCIENCE — there’s a historical PROOF that...
2 tags
critique of pure reason
1. such a stupid book. argues that we can’t see things as they are. WTF? if that’s true then you can never be sure if your honey is cheating on your or not even though I SAW HER in bed with my bro. argument destroyed, ego destroyed, worth it though, always more women around
2. kant is german from the 1920s, internet didnt exist back then but if he had he could have googled objections...
2 tags
atlas shrugged
1. stupid book about the dangers of capitalism. as if there’s anything wrong with making more money
2. ann rand was RUSSIAN why did they even allow her to come into the USA?!?
3. John Colt has a HORRIBLE LECTURE at the end of the book which makes ZERO SENSE, why not more action? maybe then i can forgive the anti-capitalist stuff, but no, instead it’s all about John Colt talking blah...
2 tags
naked lunch
1. why is this book written like the author was on drugs? it’s not responsible
2. anyone who likes william burroughs is probably a hipster and likes to ride florescent bicycles in the street wearing a bow tie and reading Frank Kafka too
3. this whole story is about gay guys having gay sex. i’m not racist but do we really need more gay sex in books? i thought Moby Dick was enough?
4....
2 tags
the unbearable lightness of being
1. whoever milan kundera is, he does not seem to know that his name is the same as a city in sicily. so already i know i’m dealing with an ignorant idiot
2. the main character is a doctor with a lot of sex partner. except that i know the author doesn’t have a clue about women. for starters, you cant just say TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES to a woman, no matter how stupid she is, she...
2 tags
post office
1. bukowski doesn’t use proper punctuation
2. poetry is for people who think they can poo roses, and i bet bukowski could not poo roses because that would not follow biological rules and the thorns would hurt. therefore bukowski is a fake.
3. all he does is get drunk for no reason, and he’s not even drinking interesting things, the other day i drank at least seven shots of vodka, and...
2 tags
anything by lacan (but also ecrits)
1. wtf! this guy doesn’t even use the same WORDS freud used, at least freud was consistent!!!!
2. if the phallus is a signifier, then how come I can pee through it? unless a signifier is NOT a machine for making road signs but then what is a signifier?
3. UNCONSCIOUS IS STRUCTURED LIKE A LANGAUGE? THEN HOW COME I CAN’T SPEAK IT? THERE ISN’T EVEN A DICTIONARY, THIS GUY IS FULL...
2 tags
ulysses
1. okay first, why is the book so popular. it doesn’t even make sense. sometimes the grammer and spellings are really not good. how did he make it thru high school? this is not american in spirit.
2. second even if the book is good which it cannot be, then how come joyce james didn’t win the Noble Price? I thought she would have been good enough, NO?
3. now the book itself. it is too long. it...
2 tags
the metamorphisis
1. A PERSON CANNOT BECOME A COCKROACH. it is impossible, so this should not be called a memoir
2. oooh, i’m Frank Kafka, I say really weird stuff just to impress the critics. i can make cockroaches interesting, EXCEPT I CANT.
3. reminded me of Inception, I’m not sure why
4. why does his sister throw an apple at him? she should crush him. he is only a cockroach. not his brother.
5. bad writing,...
2 tags
fahrenheit 9/11
1. IDIOT FIREFIGHTER DOESN’T REALIZE HE DOESN’T NEED TO BURN BOOKS?? BOOKS ARE PAPER, YOU CAN RECYCLE
2. paper doesn’t even burn like that
3. not a fan of Ray Brabdury when he gets all smug about how many books he saved. it’s just a fire. you don’t have to. fires begin with people.
4. the only reason he saves her is because she sees the future. it’s tacky.
5. michael moor is not even a...
2 tags
fight club
1. where can I join fight club?
2. is it true that chuck plankuk is gay? if so, how come?
3. tyler durden is very good but narrator needs to stop looking like ed norton?
4. lol his name was robert paulson? isn’t that a rock singer?
5. why does marla not die. in film she doesnt…?
6. if tyler and the Main guy are same, then how do they split so often?
7. why can’t he sleep?...
2 tags
portnoy complains
1. ok, more like he wines about every little thing. some people cannot afford the complaining, and make do with things as are.
2. if jewish why masturbate? is that not a bad rule?
3. a promising debue but where is the sequel? i don’t know but maybe roth doesn’t.
4. who is portnoy talking to?
5. mothers aren’t scary they are there to care.
6. can’t it be both?
7....
2 tags
the sound and the furry
1. why is benny SO STUPID?
2. badly edited, too many adverbs
3. jason is not good as a narrator, too dark for family reading
4. book was not delivered on time. will not buy from this seller again.
5. finishes without murder being solved.
6. too gay!!!!!
7. italics not explained? a mistake?
8. almost impossible to take seriously. it’s just a funeral. and if his mother is a fish, then...
2 tags
das kapital
1. socialism is obviously failed, doesn’t he know history.
2. money is more than just what grumpy austrian says it is.
3. i am not an ideolgical dupe, whatever.
4. the system is obvious. why say obvious things. the way capitalism works is much more easy than marks says. why not just accept that he is a loser in the game and bitter. therefore socialist. maybe with harder work.
5. WHAT>...
2 tags
catcher in the rice
1. why can’t Holder just be happy ? I did.
2. what’s up with talking to prostitute? why not sex?
3. unconvincing childhood memoir
4. why is roommate best friend if he’s so weird?
5. why does he call everyone ponies?
6. why does he dance? he is a MAN.
7. the film is better because sean connery is james bond.
8. sounds like Salinger is very lonely. if he wants friends...
2 tags
the interpretation of dreams
1. dreams manuals already exist and is much shorter.
2. the problem is not about unconscious, he doesn’t even explain how he knows it’s there, how can he know he’s not BEING UNCONSCIOUS HIMSELF.
3. if he is so clever why does science say nothing.
4. why does everyone love cock except that i do not and am straight. therefore fraud is a freud.
5. why no mention dr lutehr king i...
2 tags
pride and prajudice
1. too much dancing.
2. why do they write letters. why no phone?
3. first sentence is racist.
4. charlotte bronte needs better prose.
5. nothing believable about characters. one of them is a liar.
6. obvious liberal massage and subtext.
7. charlotte bronte was the worst sister. sarah bronte was better. withering heights full of more darkness.
8. reader, i married him — well duh!!!!! also...
2 tags
dracula
1. this book by graham stoker doesnt understand what a vampire is and not. the count drac does not turn into a big bat or even small bat.
2. the book is not waterproof.
3. how did graham get these journals. more importantly why.
4. no garlic, duh. the easy way to win a vampire book.
5. descriptions of blood aren’t convincing are know what blood tastes like. it’s
6. dracla cant...
2 tags
crime and punishment
1. he uses an axe to kill the old man but a gun is much better.
2. he listens to a whore.
3. why would a prostitute stick around listening to a man’s whining when she could be out there.
4. is russia really this weird? probably no. true life details: fail.
5. why do they keep changing names?
6. he walks everywhere. what’s wrong racalnikov, can’t you drive?
7. the language...
2 tags
gravity's rainbow
thomas pynchon wrote a bad book. it needs editing.
1. you can’t SEE gravity. it is SEE-THRU. how can you see a rainbow made out of INVISIBLE GRAVITY?
2. the main guy DISAPPEARS at the end. wtf? how is that interesting.
3. there is a lot of gross-out poo humor even though it is supposed to be high brow. wtf? how is that relevant to art? is there room in art for poo?
4. the war is OVER....
